how to stand up for yourself without being rude

It can take courage—which you may feel you don’t have — especially when confronting someone higher than you on the food chain, or who has an excellent reputation. Use “I” statements “I” statements are a great way to say difficult things without provoking or escalating conflict. Always be polite, and maintain a calm tone of voice. It may be daunting to think you can stand up to your intimidating boss, your controlling mother, or your manipulative friends, but you can do it by taking small steps. One of the best ways to show your confidence is through your posture. This article has been viewed 181,630 times. The proper response really depends on what kind of relationship you have with this person. We know ads can be annoying, but they’re what allow us to make all of wikiHow available for free. Assure yourself that, without your consent, no one has the authority to invalidate you. Brilliant Tips For Assertive Without Being Rude Leave a Comment / Self-Improvement / By Mathukutty P. V. An assertive person always expresses his/her views overcoming the fear of speaking and in a confident and proper way. There is nothing wrong or rude about being an assertive person and asking for what you want in life. A person I know wants me to leave my house in the pouring rain to come pick him up someplace and take him home. Do you think you could get me a clean shirt sometime this century?” The other person responds with, “I have to finish getting the food ready. That will give me time to prepare for your visit." Don't say, "Aunt Ida, would it be OK with you if you call me sometimes before you come over? Being straightforward doesn’t have to be rude, and if done right, it won’t be. Stand up for yourself, but don’t knock others down in the process. Use phrases like "I'd like a little space right now" or "I'd like to be left alone". When you identify your needs and feelings, you can develop expectations for how you want to be treated in the future. Giving your power away is perceived as you basically saying that you don’t want a say in how your life or career goes, you have no thoughts of your own and that you’re alright with someone else deciding everything for you. If the clerk tries to offer you other alternatives (fixing the item or telling you it's not damaged), keep repeating that you'd like a refund. There are times when you cannot win but you can perhaps get out. Google+. Standing up and speaking up for yourself doesn’t mean you need to have a screaming match or an all-out brawl. Approved. It's riding the balance beam between being confident and direct without being a total jerk. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Being one of the first people to speak in a situation can be a great way to stand up for yourself because it means that you are a go getter and are always ready and willing to get stuck into things and participate. You don't really have to; it is completely optional. Take the time to write out good responses to difficult situations and practice them with a friend using a timer. You’ll also want to use “I” statements to take responsibility for your thoughts and needs without blaming others. Tough Love; Tweet @courtooo; By Courtney Hardwick; Strong communication skills are one of the most important things in life. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/73\/Confused-Woman.png\/460px-Confused-Woman.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/73\/Confused-Woman.png\/728px-Confused-Woman.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":306,"bigWidth":"728","bigHeight":"485","licensing":"